Well, wow! and thanks! Lots of people are reading, reading old blogs and ‘following’. I’m enjoying your company and really appreciate the support. I’m going to tell you all about my day, but you need to watch Steve Tilston and enjoy the video first to get an understanding of how I don’t trust the grasping, covetous, penny squeezing financiers of this world – here goes – Here’s film first . Steve Tilston is one of the UK’s finest folk musicians and his song ‘Pretty Penny’ sums up the financial sector not giving a flying **** about anyone, or anything they destroy so long as they make a ‘pretty penny’. Now I’ve got that out of my system, I’ll tell you about my day.
It started like this. I wobbled down stairs, bleary eyed, tea deprived and fumbled my way to the door mat and collected the dog chewed post. After wiping off doggy spit, I read the postcard from a local estate agent. Someone wants to buy my house. Well, I wish the daft ****** I had come round and knocked on my door, because if it’s true, it would have saved me 2.5% of the asking price!!!! Those of you who’ve read my blog for a while, know that I want to sell up and downsize and have a simpler life in a smaller more manageable house. When the estate agent’s office opened, I called them and it is true. Tomorrow, said estate agent will come round to value the place – after the financial collapse it’s probably worth two pasty crusts, a dented Smart car bumper and rusty Co-op trolley if I’m lucky.
I then, just in case the impossible is possible had to contact a financier. It’s like having a hot line to the devil when ever you deal with someone who makes money by moving money around. You can almost hear the groping and salivating avariciousness of it all on the end of the phone. You go through an online form with them and soon, they discover you have equity, savings and they can make some money! From that moment on, you are their best friend! As the words of ‘Show of Hands’ say
“All I wanted was a home
And a roof over our heads
Somewhere we could call our own Feel safer in our beds”.
I just want a house I can a) afford to buy and b) afford to run. I mean actually afford to have lighting and heating in, without breaking the bank. By the end of the phone call, in theory, the mortgage application had been accepted. I didn’t get excited. I’ve been there before and at the eleventh hour, some underwriter in a dank dark hole at the bottom of humanity, refused it. Even though it was half the size of the mortgage I was paying. Again, paraphrasing ‘Show of Hands’ Here’s the video – you’ve got to love them!!
With your bonuses and expenses
You shovelled down your throat
Now you bit the hand that fed you
Dear God I hope you choke
The whole world of ‘financial services’ of any sort is a stinking mess. Whilst they continue to make bonuses, no one can get a mortgage, borrow money for business and any one poorer than Richard Branson can’t afford a house anyway. I know, ‘the dream’ (sounding like George and Lennie in ‘Of Mice and Men’ – a little wood stove!) is within my grasp, actually achievable. I know there is a lost generation out there who will never be home owners unless they inherit from a baby boomer. I know there are millions of people who will never see forty years old, let alone retirement. I know I’m lucky, blessed and better off than the biggest percentage of the world as I have a roof over my head. Now I’m in the position to make regular savings, have an ISA, and can sit looking at my bank accountS, all of a sudden, pond life want to know me! I did catch out the blokey on the phone today, by asking lots of questions mainly: what are you making out of this? what’s the fee? are there any fee free mortgages? what’s the catch? what’s the tie-in? And now, after he’s gone through every permutation of possibilities and I’ve had Ebeneezer’s time for free! I shall go and broker my own deal any way!
I really felt as if I had to go and clean slime off myself! If I can put today into context. I don’t trust these people. Not any of them. I don’t trust banks, building societies, mortgage brokers, financial advisers as they are not there to provide financial advice but to make as much money out of me as they possibly can and I see my job as to make sure I give them as little as I can. I’m not comfortable about home ‘owning’ and want to feel slightly better by living in a small house (two up, two down terrace is my preference) with a tiny back garden and feel as if I’m consuming less, even if it’s just by taking up less space.
My apologies to anyone who works in a bank, or telesales, or insurance……it’s legal, its a living and it pays the bills. I’m just going to do all I can to give them as little as I possibly can.