I’ve had a word with myself!!!

 I have previously been and am currently as size 16/18 but was a size 12 for most of my adult life. I went up to a size 16 and then by following the Weight Watchers point system, lost weight and became a size 10/12. I spent almost three years at that size and in that time, I religiously counted every point I ate. I weighed every portion, only ever drank 125ml of wine in a sitting (2 points) and at my most zealous, weighed 10 stone. I don’t remember the ‘fuck this’ moment but it certainly happened and I started eating again. I have a whole series of clothes ranging from a size 10 to size 16.

After the Easter holiday, I opened the huge bottom drawer at the base of my antique wardrobe, and took out a whole bunch of lightweight clothes that I bought last year. I had some knee length shorts, some linen trousers, some tunic tops and they were loose fitting last year. This year I can just about get half a knocker in the tops and a quarter of a backside in the trousers. I tried on numerous clothes to go on an important meeting on Thursday and nothing fitted. So the ‘fuck this’ moment has resulted in a ‘oh fuck!’ situation. I suppose this is what I did to get into debt and it took a massive wake up moment to say ‘no more’ and change my life.

 You all know I love to cook and love to eat. You may have noticed that I haven’t been blogging ‘food’…..it’s because I’ve stopped eating it! I am not going back to Weight Watchers or any other saddo club where desperate people discuss a ‘bad week’ (usually a Mars bar binge) or a ‘good week’ as I always felt no one was really taking it seriously. It true ‘Froogs’ style; I’m an all or nothing kind of person. The walks have stepped up and the portions have drastically scaled down. To be honest, I’ve mainly eaten steamed or raw plain vegetables and very lean protein and that’s not exciting, frugal or interesting to read about.

Lunches just look like this! 1400 calories of low fat and tonnes of fresh unadulterated veg. I remember the time when I cut up the credit card, cancelled the overdraft and organised my debt snowball plan. To begin with, it felt Draconian and, with all cold turkey situations, it was tough. I know this is a life long plan that will lead towards retiring at what is considered a normal age to retire, instead of 70 and having a debt free life and savings. This week has had a lot of thinking about my size and implications for my health. We all have a ‘healthy weight’. It’s usually the weight we were for most of our lives. For me, it’s size 12/14.This means you’ll be seeing a lot more of money saving around the house and garden, me busy making things and not cooking, lots more of the walking and if you don’t mind, I won’t be documenting the weight loss. I’ve no idea if going it alone is going to be successful.

I recently tried to return to the Weight Watchers plan and after the initial 5lbs of weight loss, I didn’t lose anything at all, even though I stuck at it for well over six weeks…………..funnily enough, that resulted in another ‘fuck this’ moment. I’m not and never have been unhappy with what I look like. You all know I’ve placed lots of photos of myself on the blog and I’m happy enough with who I am. I certainly had an epiphany when I could no longer fit into the biggest clothes I’ve ever owned. That was my line in the sand moment and I’m not prepared to cross it and go and buy size 18 clothes. For me, that’s a step too far.

I’ll be off for lots of long walks this weekend, there won’t be a picnic nor any cake on the return. Sorry about the lack of food; I’ll be sharing the other parts of my money saving life. The biggest money saving hope is that I will get back into the clothes I bought last year!

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25 thoughts on “I’ve had a word with myself!!!

  1. same here, I wont follow a diet, for me it is about gettign healthier, and enjoyign the food i liek in a healthier way, reducing portion sizes and uppign the exercises. I also do not want to e loosing weight according to someone elses plan, I want to be healthy first and for most, so my exercising and food habits I will be posting less often, take it at your own pace x

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  2. Knowing how good you can be when you set your mind to something, I'm sure all those clothes will be fitting you again in a few months.

    I recently lost 2 stone after reaching my 'what the f**k' moment after stepping on the scales and getting a reading of over 13 stone. Now I've lost the weight I sold/donated all the size 16s and will never get to that weight again.

    I managed by eating lots of fruit, veggies and protein and cutting out the carbs and the alcohol.

    I wish you lots of success with your 'downsizing'.

    Sue xx

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  3. Oh, hang in! Across the pond, I am. Have had you in the sidebar for a bit. Love the honesty and optimistic attitude. It speaks to so many. Anyway…oddly enough, before checking my blog (where this post is highlighted), I did a post on this subject. Only…from a different angle. Wanna check it out? ;)! No pressure! LOL…

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  4. Good luck my dear. I am trying as I don't feel too grand not because I think I have to be a certain size. If the clothes feel tight I know I need to be good.

    My trouble is I love food. I love cooking it and enteraining to! But during the week inshall be good and the weekends we fit in as much walking as possible. (great training for our three peaks challenge too!)

    You are a strong willed lady so I just know you will do well.

    X x

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  5. Wishing you very good luck with your weight loss. I'm considerably bigger than you but have recently suffered a gall bladder problem and am now on a permanent very low-fat diet.

    I've only been doing it for three months and have already dorpped two dress sizes – I'm thrilled beyond words as it was never my intention to lose weight, just to stop the horrendous pain I'd been experiencing with my gall bladder. Happily, the uber low-fat diet seems to be helping with that problem too, and the weight loss is a very welcome added bonus.

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  6. Can totally identify with your blog. It has taken me 10 months to loose a stone but I do feel a lot better. I cut out carbs, cheese, cake, biscuits! Not a lot left really but loads of fruit and veg. boring but effective. Good luck and enjoy your walks.

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  7. Good luck Froogs! I had a similar feeling when I put on the summer clothes. I too have done WW in the past, but I hate the way it made me obsessive about food and counting points. There has to be a sane, healthy way. I hope you find it!

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  8. Good Luck. I have a very yo-yo type body, at my thinnest I was a 12, now I'm a 16 and determined not to go up or down as I have too many size 16 clothes that I can't afford to replace… I always find giving up beer and crisps is good for a few lbs though. x

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  9. Good luck. Just keep the portions and cake down and I am sure you will do it without too much effort. You like walking anyway so that won't be any hardship. I am sure you will find lots of interesting subjects to write for us readers.

    I think some people just use smaller plates too.

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  10. I know how you feel. I lost two and a half stone, then had a FT moment as you put it and put on a stone and a bit more. Now I am okay in a 14 but clothes are a little tight and 16 are loose. I cannot go back to SW and nor can I measure my food. OH and I are going on walks daily what else I will do to lose weight I am not sure about at the moment but inevitably it will be one plan or another!

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  11. Good luck!!i alway's lose weight when i cut out the Carb's,have lot's of protein,vegee's and do lot's of walking,i love soup,so i alway's keep a pot of chicken and vegee soup made up to sip whenever i get hungry,i find that really help's me,it is hard when we love cooking so much,but just swap,eat the good stuff,cut out all the bread,pastry,white rice,fat's,hope this help's as it does me,xx

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  12. Good luck,you have good company in your quest. With only 3 months and 28 days until we leave Australia for our trip to England I too need to do the same. When I am good, I am really good but equally when I am bad I certainly make the most of it.

    Will watch your blog with interest and try and include more of your strategies in my routine. Have a good weekend.

    xxx Teresa

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  13. Have lost 7kg (15.4lbs) so far this year. Just stopped with fats, sugar, cut down on carbs and upped my exercise to a 5km (3.10miles) brisk daily walk. Halved my portion size to a side plate instead of dinner plate.

    I am just trying to maintain my weight at the moment and not exercising because of an injury.

    You can do it Froogs, we will be cheering you on…

    xTania

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  14. Dr.Oz says when you reach age 40,after eating and exercising the same way you did when you were younger,your body looses the ability to burn the calories it once did. You burn 100 less calories,after eating and doing the same things you once did.Then that number of calories that your body cannot burn off, increases with each year.(I'm pretty sure I said that right) So in other words, I guess we need to eat fewer calories, but do more of the excercise to stay the same weight.I think Dr. Oz has a website. I haven't looked it up, but I really do love his advice.

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  15. My husband has just bought the 4 hour body book because a friend of his had huge and great results losing weight following the plan. its a big book but essentially its this, eat protein legumes (lentils or beans) and veg, spinach is good. and not much else, no fruit, no carbs of any kind, like no rice or potatoes or bread, no sugar, no dairy. so its quite brutal, but at the same time kind of balanced. and then every week have a day off and eat whatever you like. this means the cravings get a let out cause every week, plus the once a week 'binge' on calories means the body doesn't go into 'starvation mode; which causes folk to pile wieight back onwhen they stop the dieting. just an idea

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  16. Keep in mind early weight loss is always either water or the quick access fat your body stores for those days you need a little extra so is always the greatest loss. Do not put any stock in this as any kind of goal it is unattainable, physically impossible to keep up and will almost certainly result in the F**k me moment returning.

    Instead get your head around the fact that not only is one or two pounds a week a steady and consistent weight loss that is maintainable, it is more likely to result in a permanent loss and, without wanting to spout cliche, it is a marathon not a sprint. Fast weight loss comes back fast, slow and steady leads to changes in the habits that cause weight loss in the first place.

    Best of luck but don't go too far, most women look best depending on height at a 12 or above as this means you still retain a womanly figure. Unless you are particularly short, a 10 will start to look the wrong side of curvy and anything less would make me want to break out the emergency pie and get you back up to a size that you should be.

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  17. Know just how you feel.I can't believe how tight last years size 14 summer clothes are but have had 2 weeks now with almost no carbs (a first ever for me the definitive carb girl!)High protein and low fat veg and am amazed not to feel hungry and 8 pounds gone so far!! I'm sure it was the carbs that were making me so bloody ravenous all the time! I keep telling myself nothing tastes as good as fastening my jeans feels!Good luck to you with your efforts. Lynne X

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  18. I agree with other people here- carbs and sugar are the hardest thing to give up, but the best way to weight loss. I am diabetic and measure my blood sugar, even 'good' carbs make my results rocket. Yet raspberries and double cream are fine!

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  19. As someone who's recovering from an eating disorder, I can say I am SO incredibly proud of you!! It's so hard for so many women whether we have eating disorders or not, to be willing to say “this is the body I have, and I want to live and not be controlled by diets.” I hope to reach this point one day. Thank you for being an inspiration for my recovery :o)

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