Frugal Extreme Day 6

 Today is a ‘frugal is shite!’ day! I went to Tavistock because of work and as we worked a school hours day, I had time to ‘do Tavistock’ and it’s such a lovely place. I would have loved a browse around the shops, to have new shoes and new clothes, but I’m a few years off doing that. I was with a colleague, who on the way back to the car park picked up a sweatshirt and shoes in a shop. I was back to being the kid outside the post office again! The only shopping I did today was with the change in my pocket. We only buy bread at the end of the day when it’s reduced and pop it in the freezer. Here’s the how to make bread a butter pudding. Slice and butter some bread.

 Mix milk, eggs and sugar and pour on top, we add some sultanas too and some mixed spice. When cooked, mix up some 9p custard.

 Then scoff. The day is still shite, this feeling will pass.

So many of us have to save money, or don’t have money, are out of work, have lost a job due to redundancy and are having to just use what money there is to buy food, pay the water bill and keep the rent paid. I have to remember that I have enough so I never miss paying a bill, I’ve never missed a mortgage payment, I’m able to throw money at debts, the house is warm, the freezer is full of food and I’m well clothed and in the end, I will be ok. We all have days like this……or do we? Am I alone in feeling utterly fed up from time to time that I can’t join in?

Until tomorrow, when I promise I will have cheered up,

Froogs xxxxx

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86 thoughts on “Frugal Extreme Day 6

  1. Obviously Lizzie has not been reading your blog as long as most of us, and has commented on something she has no idea about. Go back a few years Lizzie to 2008 and read of the struggle Froogs has had and how she shares the best times not just the worst with us.

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  2. Poor lizzie, she just doesnt get it. We all get good days and bad days and you dear Froogs are honest and brave enough to share them with us. In the same way as sometimes fancying a glass of wine doesnt make me an alcoholic, sometimes fancying a new dress doesnt make me a shopaholic.

    You're doing a great job honey dont let the odd negative comment get you down.

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  3. The thing is FQ, you will eventually pay off your debt and will then be able to re-evaluate how to live the rest of your life in terms of spending behaviour.

    Many of us live like you do just to get by. Me and my husband (and two 7 year olds!) don't have any debts at all, but live like you just so we don't get into debt. There is no end in sight for many of us, so in a sense, you are lucky! (even though it might feel like it).

    We all just have to get on with it and make the best of life, don't we. I have stopped being 'normal' so long ago I am very conscious of it when trying to talk to others. I find that I don't bother trying any more and can feel a bit isolated at times. That's why blogs like yours are a godsend – I don't know anyone else like me except in blogland!!!

    Donnax

    P.S. When you buy your M&S cardi, imagine how that will feel. So much better knowing the sacrifices you have made to get it.

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  4. You are definitely not alone x
    But you are doing very well yourself and inspiring others – which is a great service for good. Thank you for keeping up the good work and spreading your love x

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  5. Perhaps Lizzie is just trying to drum up business for a counseling business. Or read a magazine article about compulsive shopping and felt compelled to share. Obviously not a regular (or someone who actually took the time out to read your archive instead of leaping to conclusions).

    Either way – anyone with an ounce of compassion wouldn't add to the shite heap of a vulnerable day with such a passive-aggressive comment.

    Ahem.

    You're great Froog (hug).

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  6. Can I just be a little 'on the fence' and say that 'lizzie' probably has never read your previous posts (there's NO excuse if she has), and doesn't know your full story. She expected you to delete the comment so was in reality thinking she was speaking to you and you alone and we wouldn't all see the comment. Whatever you do, do not let one commment get you down. We are all here for you.

    I was in debt because of an ex-husband who drank and worked the minimum hours he could get away with, no-one in our village knew how poor we were and after my divorce when I got to know more folk they were amazed how we had lived.

    Once we were divorced I worked my socks off, just like you are doing now to get myself straight and back on my feet. I have now (7 years later) paid off all my debts and after a couple of years of going a bit wild (and buying M&S cardies and food)I am reigning it all in and living a frugal lifestyle to fund a downshifting, so I can spend time with my current husband living a simpler life.

    There those are my reason, what I'm saying is we all have them, and those that don't know the reasons behind something we read should either ASK or KEEP QUIET.

    Yor answer was brilliant, but do not let someones assumptions get to you.

    Sending you many hugs and lots of encouragement. You have light at the end of your tunnel, enjoy the journey towards it. When you step out it will ALL have been worth it.

    Sue xx

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  7. Please don't let one comment upset you. Your blog is a wonderful help to a lot of people.
    I know what it is like to feel left out and wish that just for once I could buy something and not worry about it, we are only human.
    I really hope you are soon feeling better about things.

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  8. Hey froogs i know your at work but had to comment..lizzie obviously doesn't get it..i do..its a little thing called envy..i watch my friends buy stuff and it used to really get to me..but hey i had a lightbulb moment..i have 1 just 1 payment left and i am debt free..they on the other hand have buried there heads in the sand and don't realize that the cack has hit the fan,and are in debt up to there necks and sinking fast..they won't be able to do it much longer..me however i am frugal and thrifty by choice as are you hun..besides i get soo much more satisfaction and enjoyment from my food,clothes etc..because i have to save for it and cook from scratch much better for you than the cack you throw in the microwave..so you keep swimming sweetheart and you will reach the oasis of being free..
    tralala..thank you..it wasn't the butcher but his rather snotty wife..who i'm sure enjoyed it..
    much love to you
    sara

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  9. Froogs….take a deep breath and just let the feeling flow over you.. This will cheer you up, the Lovely Man (my partner) was laid off on Monday, without pay and no hopes of being paid, we dont have any money to pay our mortgage, TLM is being hounded (and has to go to court next week!) for CSA arrears which he doesnt owe!, his car broke down and we cant afford to have it repaired…but even in the face of such adversity we are determined to see our way through..I have been printing off all of your frugal recipes and intend to make your falafel and homous for tea tonight. Keep up the good work some of us are relying on you for inspiration in some seriously dark times….

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  10. You're very definitely not alone! *hugs* to you. We'll get there in the end. Illegitimi non carborundum!! Sometime it all gets so wearing and tiring, Get out in the sun – that always cheers me up. x

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  11. Bad days happen, just as bad unknowing comment writers will land just when you are at your lowest. This person doesn't know you well enough for their opinion to be valid but that won't stop it hurting! Maybe they should read more before thinking they can solve all of your or anyone elses problems. That sort of person often has quite a few issues they would be better sorting themselves before opening their mouths or waggling their fingers at someone else!

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  12. You're definitely not alone in that feeling. It's an awful feeling, but not half as bad as the one when the bills come in and you can't cover them!
    P xx

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  13. Hi Frugal Queen, had to comment again, please don't allow one judgemental person undermine the positive influence that you are having on yourself and all of the others like myself who love watching and contributing to your blog. I think sometimes it is easier for people to make black and white judgements about others rather than look at themselves. I remember as a child being told that if you didn't have something nice to say then don't say anything at all. I dont' think that this means we can't have different opinions but there is always a way to put them forward.
    Keep up the great blog, we all think you are doing a fantastic job. xxx Teresa

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  14. restiplease dont be put off blogging, this is my 2nd response this blogg, its human nature to compare lifestyles etc, i do it frequently, im not a great clothes shopper so things like that dont affect me, im in debt, recession hasnt helped. husband and i both self employed, i have lost loads of customers. im not making excuses but when you go weeks on end with no money you build up debts when money comes in you want to do something nice in our case go out for the day or a meal.But now i have turned a corner i want a different way of life debt free so even when my debts are paid off im going to do my best not to return to old ways,once bitten twice shy. FQ you will and are getting there, without people like you putting down in writing their experiences i wouldnt be doing what im doing. hope this all makes sense.x

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  15. Been thinking about you today Froogs and hope you are in a better place. Don't take on board negative and judgemental comments; remember you don't have to justify yourself, last time I looked you weren't on trial for anything 🙂

    Was pondering (great word that) your low day and Foster Mummy's post about looking for happiness. For me, on low days I'm not looking for a high or a fix that numbs; I would just like a respite, a rest, a chance to put down the load just for just a short-time but like you, I'm not going to, this is it for the next two years; I'm half way there, so it's left foot, right foot all the way to that finish line.

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  16. I dont think my comment was in any way out of order.
    There was a time in the history of the world when most people had pretty much the same. Now its a scramble to keep up with what someone else has decided is “normal”. When I was young it was laughingly called “keeping up with the Jones”. So many people are into this and it is ruining our family lives and our happiness and that of our children.
    And the media does nt help.
    Frugality should not be viewed as a “new” thing – people have always had to plan to live within their means. Huge debt and overspending amongst the general population is the “new” thing.

    You and your husband make $74,000 a year by my calculations – an excellent salary even for the U.S. where the average salary is about $34,000.
    Your taxes are a bit higher but we pay more out of pocket for medical expenses and property taxes (rates) Contrary to opinion food prices are pretty much the same in both places. We do pay less for gasoline but then we have much larger distances to cover food distribution.
    Our utility bills are pretty much the same and we pay for water also.

    maybe we should go into the poorer areas of our community and see what lovely shops and smart restaurants they have been to lately.

    This is a temporary situation for you. Many are never going to get out of poverty.

    I am sorry but people have to be very deserving to get my sympathy these days. In the West we have become very, very spoilt.

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  17. Oh good on you Froogs!! Lizzie is probably a 20 something living with mom and dad or a naive boyfriend, oblivious to real life. I have a sister who was like this about 12 years ago. She is 30 now and married to a chiropractor with $150000(CDN) in student loan debt and a mortgage. She is now the one who is learning(what I knew 12 years ago) that life is EXPENSIVE and debt can be accumulated with no “shopping addiction” present.

    Seriously, LIZZIE…..grow up already. Leave up grown ups alone.

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  18. Goodness me, what a great amount of common sense has been written here. I do hope that you are feeling less beleaguered today. You are on course to hit your final target so just feel proud of that. Chin up!

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  19. I don't think many people understand that we are frugal because we WANT to be. I look at it like this Froogs, you can pay off all your credit and mortgage and then when you are not owing to anyone go on a huge spending spree…I betcha you won't though 🙂

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  20. You are far, FAR from being alone. Let me give you a quick tale – I filled in my tax return this monring to discover – oh delight! – that the tax I should owe this year is some way below the amount I have saved to cover it. Much glee ensued! As I had to go into town anyway, I popped into Primark – I have to have at least a couple of new summer tops, and decided that as I had some now un-needed tax money sitting about, I might treat myself. I found two tops I liked – REALLY liked. Tried them on – they fitted! Yay for Primark! I then stood in the shop for 15 minutes desperately trying to justify buying them to myself. They were £6 each – so not a fortune by any means, but I am SO out of practice at buying clothes elsewhere than clearance or charity shops, I struggled to deal with the idea. 😦 I'm glad to say that I did, in the end buy them. That is not, however, to say that the battle is entirely won – they may yet return to be exchanged for something dull but essential like knickers.

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  21. Apologies for double-commenting
    Lizzie at least had the courage to post using a real name, which so many don't. She clearly didn't know the reasons for Froogs being in her situation, and fair enough, I suspect many don't, and I think her comments were meant to be helpful so not an attack or a “hit & run” as one person described it. Reading the likes of the bankruptcy board on MSE, it;s understandable that people do equate “Debt” with “Shopaholic” as so many on there have caused their own hardship. Many however, like Froogs, Hypno and others are there through no fault of their own.

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  22. Go back to those hundreds of comments on Foster Mummys Blog Froogs, go back and see all of those people whom you have inspired and ask yourself the same question. The answer lies in those wonderful comments made by all those people who have taken more than 60 seconds to read your posts and not just read one post and assumed you must have some kind of habit. There will always be people who can come along and throw the spanner in the works, and it will always make you feel shite, but here you will always have support too. Hugs as always.xxx

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  23. Did I upset you with my comment? I see you didn't authorise it and was surprised.

    I also meant to say keep your eyes on the prize! You can have lots of material items when you have got back on track or have some now and your goal will take a little longer. I have different goals to you but I have to make choices every day to do the things I really want in life. The society we live in puts huge pressure on us all to conform. I hope you are starting to feel more positve now.

    best wishes sft

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  24. I know how you feel, I was feeling a bit hopeless about stuff yesterday but I too have enough money to pay bills so feel like I shouldn't be moaning. Luckily it does pass, hope you feel better soon! 🙂

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  25. am way down the list here today! I would say that even the wealthiest of wealthy blow the money however they like it have shit days. Days are good and days are not so good regardless of how much money you spend.

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  26. oh and I just read your response to someone, and can see why you are upset. these things too shall pass. xx keep it up (which you will anyway) and hold your head even higher! you made a decision and probably like a dieter who can't eat cake when others are… it hurts. bUt you have a mission. you are on a mission. and purpose is what makes like worthwhile too.

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  27. Oh Froogs I'm sorry you have to read negative comments from certain people! It's a shame that some people are so judgemental and Lizzie obviously hasn't bothered to read all of your blog to find out more about your life.
    Take no notice and as my mum always used to say to me, and I in turn say to my girls now…'if you haven't got anything nice to say then don't bother saying anything at all'. Perhaps Lizzie might benefit from this advice! Just delete such useless comments x

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  28. Hello Frugal Queen!

    As regards Lizzie, some people are just THICK and a bit patronising.
    But YOU are not going to let that bother you, are you? If we all ignore her she will go away. X

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  29. Lizzie, what you may not realise is that in the profession that Froogs is in there is no guarantee of a jobt next month, next year etc due to HUGE austerity measures here in the UK. People are losing their jobs left right and centre.

    She is not a shopaholic and as far as I can see does not need counselling for any obsession with shopping.
    We don't all NEED to buy things, THAT is the point she makes. Although we sometimes WANT tp buy something, if we don't need it them why should we?

    as for utility bolls Lizzie, you may not realise it but where FQ and I live we have the HIGHEST water bill in the Uk and recently it has been reported that 80% of peole in this area can't afford thier water! Now I know there are some rough areas here but no abject poverty BUT poverty is all relative. In the UK it is classed as child neglect and child poverty if you don't have a friend over for tea.
    Because of this my chidlren are “suffering neglect” because I won't have other people's kids in my house (I don't have space FFS!) but according tp that govt. that is a sign of poverty!
    I have been to Africa (Where I met my DH) where people can't get enough to eat but the township has a Mercedes which is used by 10 families. I'm not talking an old one either but top of the range saloon.

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