Feeling great and looking frugally fantastic.- part 2

6 a.m Firstly, sorry about the flash reflection but here goes with the next part of the frugal capsule wardrobe. Today I am wearing: charity shop skirt £2 (Woodside Animal Shelter shop) Black tights 3 pairs of 70 denier tights for £2 (Matalan) Black long sleeved T shirt, now over 2 years old £2.99 from Primark and my reduced jacket from Matalan £14. In answer to ‘Damn the Broccoli’ – I feel good about myself and I would encourage all women to do the same. The fashion industry can only make you feel unworthy if you let it, social expectation will only damage your self esteem if you let it. I am, as you can see, a wide hipped, wobbly bummed size 16 and DB can’t keep his hands off one bit of me. I wear what I think looks good on me, I don’t take any notice of fashion. If I like it, if I need it, if I can afford it then I might own it. I’m happy with who I am, what I look like.

6 p.m I’ve added this after reading Pixie’s comments this evening. I’ve come to terms with being me over the last 45 years. It didn’t happen over night. I’ve had periods of self-loathing, body consciousness, dieting, and insecurity. All of those are part of maturing. I’ve learnt the most valuable asset I have is my brain. I learnt to value myself when I went to night school at 32 years old with nothing more than a few O levels, take an Access course and get into University. I spent three years studying, working hard when it stressed me out, going with the fear and the pain and doing it anyway. Life still scares me from time to time, but it’s OK to be scared. Part of me came alive when I graduated; I felt validated, intelligent and I have really achieved something.

I then battled through teacher training and took the toughest route of the Graduate Teacher Programme and worked full time as a teacher and trained at the same time. After qualifying as a teacher, I was turned down from the first five interviews I went to, on the sixth interview, I got a job. I threw myself into my career and after only teaching for four years became a Head of English in another school. Every day, even though I’m scared, even though I worry, I go to work and do my best and make a difference to the lives of hundreds of kids who depend on me. I feel validated, intelligent and I have really achieved something.

In all of this, you don’t hear me mentioning any one else. I had to do this for me. I’m the girl who left home at sixteen, was a single mum at 19, divorced at 24, a single mum again, remarried a total bastard, escaped a violent home, now with two kids and learnt to pull myself together and get on with it. There’s no time for regrets and there is only today and the rest is the future. I am responsible for me, my emotions and my well being. I have to value myself as there are those who don’t and they really don’t matter. No man who ever squeezed my bum ever wished it was smaller and I never realised until I hit 40 what an attractive woman I am. I haven’t always felt this way but I enjoy every moment of feeling like this now. I have down days like everyone else, but in the main, I really value my life, my family, my friends, where I live, the world I live in. I found my own way to being totally beautiful and happy with who I am, may every woman do the same…………….although, like me, you might have to wait a while. Love Froogs xxxx

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9 thoughts on “Feeling great and looking frugally fantastic.- part 2

  1. It all sounds lovely Froogs, and I know it has taken a while for you to get there. But there are plenty of us out there who are no where near where your head is. I would love to feel happy in my own skin and with whatever I put on my body. I am the same size as you, 5'9, and yet I have been told I am “too fat”, “obese”, “very overweight”, and this is said by my psychiatrist and my doctor. I have put on 6 stone since I started all the medication and I have a history of eating disorders. So to be told that is absolutely soul destroying, and it is not at all conducive to feeling positive about yourself.

    It's lovely that you have somebody who clearly loves you regardless of whether you are a size 6 or 16. I know it is about feeling comfortable in your own body, but it would be stupid to deny the fact that having support and love helps. I have a mum obsessed with weight and appearance (she's had surgery), a dad who is a fitness freak and is simply disrespectful towards fat people, and who now has a very thin wife and super fit step daughter, and aside from their constant comments about weight, appearance, clothes, I hear it from everybody on my support team.

    I don't think it's too surprising that I am trying to get over a compulsion to shop, really.

    Your philosophy is great, don't misunderstand me. Perhaps you could share some of your experiences about HOW you got to where you are now, especially for those of us who are not 'feeling great and looking fantastic' but rather 'feeling shit and looking shitter'! x P

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  2. Your certainly the queen of accessories! What a lovely necklace and fab jacket 🙂

    Pixie, I've been made to feel fat by mum for daring to be a size 12! They just like to interfere and reflect their own disorders on us. One of the best things i do to feel good about myself, is to have a day out at a sauna/steam room as its full of all sort of woman enjoying looking after themselves and you feel great afterwards, its does cost a little but not as much as a shopping spree

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  3. Hi Froogs, you do look good, I'm enjoying your posts on clothes/capsule wardrobe, what about the summertime, do you have a capsule summer wardrobe, I always struggle more with summer clothes, I know its the wrong time of year for that! x

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  4. Hi P – officially complain about your health care 'professionals'. Of what little I know about health and well being, I know you won't make people feel good about themselves by insulting them. Walk in the light P and stay away from negativity.

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  5. Many parts of your life sound so very similar to mine…the struggle for self validation and esteem, the struggle to simply exist and make it throughout life, often alone…
    I`m 49 and have at various times throughout my life been called ugly, fat and disgusting, some of that by members of my own family. I`m five foot tall and weigh ten stone, and am a size 14. I never thought of myself as fat until others began to tell me I was! For me, it`s all about health, no matter what size you are. If your health is rubbish, you can`t enjoy life, end of. Then, it doesn`t matter what you look like.
    I`ve got what can kindly be called a `homely` face, one only a mother could love, (and she`s dead!) and though I`m now strong enough to never show the hurt when someone comments, you know something? It DOES still hurt…society judges us so much on how we look, disregarding too often what the package contains…things like compassion, love, talent and intelligence seem very low down the pecking order in a world that values shallow skinned beauty and a uniform body size so highly.
    It takes a strong person to be happy with who they are and what they look like (and almost everyone underestimates how truly beautiful they look).
    FG, I love your attitude, and have no doubt it was won through hard work and some pain. It`s an inspiration to read your posts. 🙂

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  6. It's nice, isn't it, to have someone love you for who you are. In 26 years of marriage, I have been every size from 8 to 18. Like your DB, my husband has never been able to resist any of my incarnations. Including the one that took my original equipment (it tried to kill me) and replaced it with belly fat kindly provided by the three children we have together. Happy is so much prettier than any “ideal” weight or body type.

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  7. Hello froogs – I think I love you:):) 🙂
    Thank you for adding your story to this post. I'm sure I'm not alone in both relating to some part or all of your story whilst also wishful to have something like your strength of character and your wisdom in order to have better deal with my experience. Thank you. You've given me a boost.
    And love your blog x
    pamela xxx magicalmeadows.blogspot.com

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