6 a.m Firstly, sorry about the flash reflection but here goes with the next part of the frugal capsule wardrobe. Today I am wearing: charity shop skirt £2 (Woodside Animal Shelter shop) Black tights 3 pairs of 70 denier tights for £2 (Matalan) Black long sleeved T shirt, now over 2 years old £2.99 from Primark and my reduced jacket from Matalan £14. In answer to ‘Damn the Broccoli’ – I feel good about myself and I would encourage all women to do the same. The fashion industry can only make you feel unworthy if you let it, social expectation will only damage your self esteem if you let it. I am, as you can see, a wide hipped, wobbly bummed size 16 and DB can’t keep his hands off one bit of me. I wear what I think looks good on me, I don’t take any notice of fashion. If I like it, if I need it, if I can afford it then I might own it. I’m happy with who I am, what I look like.
6 p.m I’ve added this after reading Pixie’s comments this evening. I’ve come to terms with being me over the last 45 years. It didn’t happen over night. I’ve had periods of self-loathing, body consciousness, dieting, and insecurity. All of those are part of maturing. I’ve learnt the most valuable asset I have is my brain. I learnt to value myself when I went to night school at 32 years old with nothing more than a few O levels, take an Access course and get into University. I spent three years studying, working hard when it stressed me out, going with the fear and the pain and doing it anyway. Life still scares me from time to time, but it’s OK to be scared. Part of me came alive when I graduated; I felt validated, intelligent and I have really achieved something.
I then battled through teacher training and took the toughest route of the Graduate Teacher Programme and worked full time as a teacher and trained at the same time. After qualifying as a teacher, I was turned down from the first five interviews I went to, on the sixth interview, I got a job. I threw myself into my career and after only teaching for four years became a Head of English in another school. Every day, even though I’m scared, even though I worry, I go to work and do my best and make a difference to the lives of hundreds of kids who depend on me. I feel validated, intelligent and I have really achieved something.
In all of this, you don’t hear me mentioning any one else. I had to do this for me. I’m the girl who left home at sixteen, was a single mum at 19, divorced at 24, a single mum again, remarried a total bastard, escaped a violent home, now with two kids and learnt to pull myself together and get on with it. There’s no time for regrets and there is only today and the rest is the future. I am responsible for me, my emotions and my well being. I have to value myself as there are those who don’t and they really don’t matter. No man who ever squeezed my bum ever wished it was smaller and I never realised until I hit 40 what an attractive woman I am. I haven’t always felt this way but I enjoy every moment of feeling like this now. I have down days like everyone else, but in the main, I really value my life, my family, my friends, where I live, the world I live in. I found my own way to being totally beautiful and happy with who I am, may every woman do the same…………….although, like me, you might have to wait a while. Love Froogs xxxx