Let there be light

When we bought our house, one of the things I knew I needed for the sake of my well-being was light. My house is south facing, with stunning views which are blocked by two large trees and I always wanted to get some tree surgery done to them. I looked at my bank account this month and could actually afford to get the work done.

I did all the usual things and got several quotes and almost gave up. Most of the quotes were in excess of £1200 to get the tree taken down. Today, I had a card and photocopied advert stuck through my door and by chance, I rang them. I was completely suspicious when they arrived within the hour and looked like the cast of Rogue Traders. I was careful and asked to see his paper work. “You’ve been watching Rogue Traders” he said, to which I replied “Show us your: NPTC certificate, your limited liability insurance certificate, written quotation and home address and phone number!” He dutifully unzipped a leather bound folder and gave me everything I asked for and even managed to call Matt Albright an oil tanker or words to that effect. I then asked for a written quote, which I laughed at and told him to try again, I managed to haggle him down from £750 to £600……………………..he went back to get on his Wallace and Gromitt chain saw trousers mumbling that I was robbing him. “There’s a recession on y’know!” said I. I also managed to secure the logs, that they were cut down to usable size and stacked neatly on my drive!!! They were reluctant but I know there’s not much work around, which easily matches my not much money so the deal was done.

It was an entertaining day. I know they were qualified chainsaw operatives but I don’t think they do many 100 feet tall, spindly knackered old cherry trees very often! Blokey up tree (Kamikaze Kevin!) was strapped to the tree by his jock strap and spent the day on the edge of death.

After sawing off all the over hanging branches………….mainly into the road below our house and onto the back of their lorry. I got the first glimpse of my complete view. Now, from my lounge and my patio I can see all of the farm land opposite, whereas before I had glimpses through the branches. I’m already stunned by how much extra light I have.

Below is the boss, he and the other man on the ground has a different view of the branches, which ones to cut and where they will land. It becomes a three man operation. Big fat bloke, is the rope, block and tackle man, who spends all his time lashing a rope around the other tree or ground anchors, cranking a winching handle and ‘take the strainnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!” The three of them have to shout to each other as the tree is high and Kamikaze Kevin is deaf as well as daft as he keeps his ear defenders on when they try to talk to him. I think they ought to learn semaphore as it might be more useful!

Here is what is left of ugly old cherry tree.
After each stage of felling, they all rush round together with much smaller chain saws and cut the tree limbs up into small logs. They will be round tomorrow with a huge mulching machine (please don’t let Kamikaze Kevin any where near that one!!!!) Below is said Kev, strapped onto what is left of the tree. By four o clock after five hours of battle with the spindly beast, they admitted defeat and said they’ll return tomorrow (don’t worry I won’t pay them until the last microbe of sawdust is cleaned away)
It’s been a weird day, I never intended to have the tree cut down today! I started just quilting and hovering around the house. It’s turned into a monumentally entertaining day, with a huge increase in sunlight and twice the view I had before. Funny old day!


13 thoughts on “Let there be light

  1. Sounds like you have had a busy day. We had a very large and beautiful conifir in our front garden until a few years ago the people from EDF came round and said that they had seen from their helicopter that the tree was touching the power line and they needed to cut it down – just like that! They came mob handed and cut it down and the left all the mess for us to clear up. Then last year we had all our overhead wires removed and put underground, so we could have kept the tree!!


  2. You have such a great way with words.
    Reading this tonight made me chuckle & cheered me up no end after a really bad day. I can't get the picture of a bloke wearing nowt but a hard hat, ear defenders and welding a chainsaw, suspended from a tree by his jockstrap, out of my head !!!

    Thanks for the laugh and enjoy your new views



  3. Umm, I could be wrong, but I thought you had to get permission to cut trees down, I only mention this as mum's neighbour tried to do this with a large tree in her garden, but was stopped by someone putting a protection order on it, apparently anyone can do this!! It will make a hugh difference in terms of the light in your garden x


  4. We needed a tree cut down but it was too expensive, and as it was on the border between ours and Mr Next-Door's,and he didn't want to pay his “half”, we left it.
    It fell onto our house in a heavy rain storm last October – luckily no damage. We had to ring the Fire Brigade who did a sterling job with big winch-type-thingys, and they rang a company who came straight out to properly cut down the tree. Mr Next-Door paid his half, and we kept the big stump for the bugs and wildlife to inhabit. It was a day to remember though, and as you say FG, you get so much more light in the house!!


  5. Hi Dub girl – trees can have a tree preservation order, ours did not. You find out by ringing the planning department of the council, give them the postcode and if there is no TPO then you can cut down the tree. The end of my garden is 10 feets higher than the road below and the tree stopped the street light from being effective and it was impossible to trim. I certainly don't advocate chopping trees down the the advantages outweighed the negatives and now I have a view and light.


  6. Nothing like letting a little extra light in. Thanks for your message on my Handmade Christmas Challenge post. Look forward to you joining in and showing off some of your gorgeous creations.


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